An awful life
by TheGoddessOfHell
Summary: After her best friend, her single reason to exist was hit by a truck, will she recover or will she face the death? One-shot, read and review


A/N: A Bella/Jasper one-shot. I got the idea from a not happy-end movie. So this story is definitely not going to have a happy-end. Read it and you'll see. Please review. And, oh, I forgot to tell you. I was amazed when I saw how many hits I got in just 4 days of February. On the 1st I got 452 hits and a little more than 100 visitors. I wanted to thank you a lot and I'm going to reward you with this shot and a new story that I will post soon. Kisses, and please review.

I was going to Jasper's house the day it happened. I was so happy and carefree and I finally got the strength to tell him what my real feelings for him were. I'm Bella Swan, I'm 19 and I live in Forks. My best friend, Jasper Whitlock was all I had. My parents left me when I was 10 and I lived in an orphanage since I was 18. Then I moved in our old house and got a job. I work as a bartender and the only pub in Forks. Forks is now a bigger town, it has almost 100,000 people living in it. Jasper is my best friend since I was 4. Our parents were good friends, but a little after my parents left his mother died and his father killed himself, he jumped from a cliff. So he was send in the same orphanage like me. We always were together, and we both got out from the orphanage when we were 18. That day, he was 19, he is a month older than me, and he worked like a waiter in the same pub I did. We always hang out together, we shared all our secrets and we knew everything about each other. I arrived at his house that night and I found him sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Hey, Bella." He was so happy then.

"Hey, Jazz. How are you?"

"Better now that you're here."

"Good, because I came to tell you something very important."

"Ok, sit and tell me."

"Okay, Jazz. I know that you consider me your best friend, but I always thought a little more about you. I always loved you more than a friend and I never found the strength to tell you the truth." He gasped a little. He wasn't ready for this, but I told myself that I would wait for him.

"Jazz, I would wait for you. I know that you were not ready for what I told you, but I had to." My voice was barely a whisper, and I blushed ten shades of red at what he told after this.

"Bella, I am ready for a relationship and I'm totally ready for you, but I didn't expect you to make the first step."

I remember very clearly our first kiss. After that answer, I pressed my lips to his. His lips moved gently and he put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. My hands went straight for his hair as he licked my bottom lip. I gave him entrance as my tongue started to trace his teeth. Our tongues started to fight for dominance, but I lost and I was entirely his. I felt butterflies in my stomach and an electric shock ran through my body but I wasn't ready to let him. I was all his.

He broke the kiss and we both gasped for air. That was our first kiss and my first kiss and this was definitely something I still remember.

"Now, we should go to celebrate, right?" Totally right.

"Let's go."

"But where?"

"Let's go at our pub."

"Yeah, Jazz, you have always known how to choose the best places." I ironically said.

"Why, darlin', you don't like our job place?" Texan accent full force. Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Jasper was from Texas and he moved there a year before his parents died.

"I like it, Jazz. Let's go."

We got in his truck, an old Toyota, I believe Toyota Tacoma and he started to drive. The road to our bar was long, because it was exactly at the other end of the town. The silence in our car was comfortable, no one needed words.

Suddenly the car stopped

I woke up in a white bed and I was surrounded by a doctor and 3 nurses.

"What happened, why am I in a hospital bed?" I was scared because right then I didn't know what happened.

The doctor answered in a calm voice:

"You were involved in a car crash."

Suddenly I remembered everything. The kiss, the road, the truck, Jasper…Jasper!

"Where is Jasper?"

"Your friend…" The doctor paused…

"What happened to Jasper?"

"Your friend…died at the impact."

Right then I couldn't feel anything. Pain was all I knew and I wished to die right then. A tear escaped and I broke up.

"Why him? Why not me? God, please take me!" I started to scream while I was crying hard. The doctor tried to calm me, telling me that all was good. But it wasn't. He…he was dead. Jasper was dead. He was all I had and now I don't have anything…Why me, God?

The pain was overwhelming and my head felt like it was going to explode. It didn't matter. All I wanted was to die because I didn't have anything. I was begging for death to come and to take me. I hoped that God would be good and let me see my Jazz just once.

Suddenly I felt a needle in my hand and death was slowly welcoming me. I never wanted to die more in my life, I never wanted to live more in that pure paradise that was Heaven. I was alone since I was 5, even if I had Jasper, I needed a mother and a father.

_Flashback_

I never wanted to remember this things, the years that I spent with my parents, but now, that I'm very close to dying, I can remember the playground, the cartoons and how my parents loved me before deciding that they didn't want me. I remember that I had a brother, his name was James and he was 4 years bigger than me. He loved me a lot and he wanted to be with me when my parents decided to leave, but he was only 11 and he couldn't live without his parents. I really miss now the motherly affection that I had for a little couple of years and it's destroying me inside to know that I don't have anybody, that is too much pain for me to endure.

"You will have a good sleep, Miss Swan, and then you will be externated."

_Flashback_

I still remember the thoughts that I had right then and the pain didn't stop. 2 days passed, and I still can feel that overwhelming pain. I sold my house and all my things and I donated the money.

Now, at the edge of the cliff, my last thought is "I always loved you, Jasper".

A/N: Like it? Please review and tell me…sorry for the mistakes, but I don't have a beta so I have to do them for myself…If someone wants to beta my story, Shattered Hearts, please give me a message…Kisses and please please please review!!!


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